Not my grandma

Mummy,( my mom-inlaw) said to my hubby and I once, "If you could stand her for more than a month, you're the great". She used the word 'Hebat' (equivalent to GREAT). We were talking about a 93 years old lady, my hubby's grandma. Mummy understood her character very well. I addressed her as 'Nenek' (Grandma). Nenek was demanding as said, and very 'manja' ( I couldn't find an appropriate English word). She needed extra attention more that a child would need. She liked to be chauffeured around in a short car-ride, or hopped from a grandchild's house to another. She liked to munch despite having the only front tooth left. She loved gardening. She loved P.Ramlee movies. She wanted things ready whenever she needed them. She would call anyone of us to do things or take things for her. She wanted to be listened to. Why Nenek liked coming to our house? That was part of the above talks, when we were fetching her, from Mummy's, attending to nenek's call. Nenek found comfort in our small house, even if she had to share a small room with the maid or sleep at the living room. She said so. Nenek would go back to my parents-inlaw's for 2 or 3 days, then she would be back to us again for a week or two. She also said that, it was a good feeling seeing our happy faces welcoming her to the door. Ferrying her back and forth to her demand, was what we, all the grand children did, throughout her healthy days in KL, ever since she moved from Penang somewhere end of 2008. Although sounded difficult to handle, but no, Mummy, she was not at all. And, Yes, she stayed with us many more months than the expected 1. It could have been years should God had allowed. Were we the great? No, we were not. We were just 'dancing to the music'. That was all it takes. For years having her own apartment in Penang, the last thing she needed, at that age, were rules and regulation. So we gave her the freedom by reducing the No's , the Dont's and the Cannot's from our house vocabs. She wanted a garden under her own management and flower pots, arranged according her order. So, we let her took control of our compound. She enjoyed planting and pruning. So, I bought her pruning scissors and stool for her to sit. Her favorite flowers were roses. So I took her to the nearby nursery and bought a few pots of roses for her. Then I would snap picture of every bloom, for her to see and be proud of. That brought her to smile. She would ask where was I going whenever she heard the tinkling sound of keys. Often, I took her for a short ride to fetch my kids at the tuition centre. When we reached home from work, she would ask if we bought peanuts or 'muruku' or anything to munch, therefore we would have them ready for her prior to her coming. When she talked, I listened and laughed to her stories, as I know she enjoyed the attention. To her liking, I bought lots of P.Ramlee movies for her viewing. I made sure the kids or the maid operated the CD player for her, whenever she needed to watch them. But, I worked all day and couldn't spare more time to be around her then. Hence, I told my maid and my children to give her the priority, as she was old enough to the stage of we wondered if she would be around on the following day, or week or month. We gave her the attention, closest to her needs. She was turning childish. She loved being loved. She wasn't difficult to handle at all, Mummy. If one knows how to make a child happy, one would know how to bring happiness to Nenek. As simple as that. Many times, I overheard her talking about me, which sometimes made me feel uneasy to the others. She told many nice things about me. There were times, she exaggerated, actually. "If that makes her happy, let it be" I thought. That was the story started about a year and a half ago before Nenek gotten ill. For about 6 months on-and-off living with us, Nenek then stopped coming due to her worsen health problem. I figured, she didn't want to trouble us with her sickness. Still, we continued visiting her at my inlaw's, every now and then. I could still recall her expression of excitement upon seeing us. My kids miss that too. I took a photo of them giving her a massage. They love their great grandma, whom they called 'Tok Nek'. Then..sad....their Tok Nek passed away about 4 month after she succumbed to heart problem. I didn't manage to witness her last breath and didnt get a chance to whisper my love to her on her very last day , because Nenek went on the day I left for my hometown, Lahad Datu, Sabah. On the 3rd day I was back to KL, looking at the empty room where I used to see her lying there. For real.. Nenek has gone.....forever.... Back home, I miss seeing her shadow by the corner of my house, praying and reciting the Quran. I remember reciting Yaseen with her and the kids on one Friday night. I miss her voice. I also miss the aroma of her 'Minyak Kayu Putih' (Eucalyptus oil base ointment) in my house, which used to be our indicator of her being in the house. I remember her smile and her slow moves, gently swaying her way in and out of the washroom. I stll have the photo of her chair and her praying mat, located at her favorite corner of my house, where she would sit doing her prayers. The corner is now, empty. I could have written this journal earlier, but it was too much of a sadness for me to handle. It has been 8 months now, but still, thinking of her would bring me tears. I cried when I cooked her favorite dish. I cried when I passed by the hospital where she was warded till the end of her breath. I cried seeing my daughter sobbed, missing her great grandmother. I broke down to tears several times, while working on this post. Roses always remind me of Nenek. I captured those moments in my paintings. She is not my biological grandma, but the love and memories of Nenek will always be with me forever. Nenek went accompanied by love of all the family. In return, she left her love behind for us.

...Al-Fatihah...

Make My Day 2

I guest I woke up on a wrong side of the bed today. I couldn't lift a smile on my face. Every 'lil thing irritated me.
Hoping it helps, I put on an extra make up on my face. It Didn't help.

While driving, I listened to my favorite spiritual music by Wilson Lema and imagined as if I was in a nice cooling place. That cooled me be a bit. Then I remembered that I went to bed at 2am. I see... now I am no longer young for late night stay, like I used to do. Time flies. So does memory.

I almost forget that I was supposed to collect my air ticket to Sabah. Today is the last day. Another travelling to do this Sunday. I kinda sick of travelling, leaving my hubby and kids behind. Tiredness, absentmindedness, sickness, boredom, all came into place.

I logged in to a blog of Shamsul Bahari, the Malaysian International Artis based on Penang. By profession, I am not an artist, but I love art, especially one that portrays life and living and culture and scenery. I do painting only when I feel like. Answering to my previous comment in his blog, he figured I am an artist too, by looking into my blog. An artist identified me as artist, WOW..!! I'm flattered. Thank you Sir.

He offered if I wanted to be his manager. WOW..X 2 !!! Its not my field, but who knows things might work. Emm.. that something I should keep among the list of my early retirement plan.

See.... I am now talking about early retirement. Even the type of my reading materials are turning to religion related topics. In Malay, this is not 'Ketuanan Melayu', but 'Ciri-ciri Ketuaan', a.k.a 'Aging'. Come what may.....

He is still the Man

I was there listening to his speech, which didn't lull me to doze, unlike any other conferences that I attended prior to this.

He is still maintaining his popularity among all levels of generation.

He gave his spontaneous answers to the representatives from NGOs, Politicians, Writers, high school students, business entrepreneurs and all. He amazed us all with his impromptu answers. I salute this old man.

The seminar was held at The National Library of Malaysia on the 26-28thJan2010. I didn't attend other session except the event when Tun Dr. Mahathir was the speaker. Not because I like him so much, but because I know I would learn something from him and I know my time cruising through the traffic wouldn't be wasted.

The huge hall was filled with people having the same thinking as mine. It was worth going. He is still the man of the nation.

Brunei again.

My recent trip to Brunei (Again) was just a months ago. Another training conducted to the management of University Brunei Library(UBD). I decided to stay in another hotel, away from the noisiness. What made a difference between this trip compare to those previous ones was the type of food that I had and the activities I did after work. I spent a lot of my time in the hotel room, reading thinking and drawing (ya..ya..Roses again). To avoid messes I used pencil color. I left the masterpieces to a friend as remembrance. Just a walking distance away, there was a satay stall.Various satay from the inner part to the outer part of animals. Other than the regular beef and chicken, also available were ostrich, beef intestine, beef stomach (Towel-like), rabbit meat, prawn and squid. Emm.. interesting. I tried the ostrich. It tastes exactly like beef. In fact, I couldn't tell whether it was a beef or was it an ostrich meat that I was eating. Next, I had a chance to hang around the riverside, having Penang Laksa. Penang Laksa in Brunei?? Guess what? The Laksa was almost excellent! I was there with Hajah Dayang Anis, my client plus a Friend. She introduced me to a local drama artist, Mell. A cute girl. She was nominated as one of the best drama artist in Brunei, which event was to take place on that very night. I dont know what was the outcome though. I hope she won. On the next day, I had the local famous dish, Ambuyat, kinda staple food to replace rice and to be eaten with normal dish like fish stew and Rendang. Ambuyat is made of starchy flour gotten from a tree trunk, which I forgot the name. Cooking preparation is by pouring boiling hot water to the flour and thats it. Ready to eat Ambuyat is like a glue, which to be eaten with chopstick-like bamboo utensil. You are suppose to dip it into your preferred dish and swallow it while its still hot and steamy. The Ambuyat itself is tasteless, but the interesting part is the steamy sensation flowing down your throat, from the starting point to where it reached within.

Are you coming or not?

I remember during my early years living in KL. I was 10 years old then, attending Methodist Girls School in Brickfields. We all siblings were always looking forward for every weekend, when my parents would bring us everywhere, all over peninsular Malaysia, including Singapore. Having 10 children (then), and a grandmother, we had to take turn in order to fit in a car. Those who left behind never complain though, as there were always activities in Bangsar, where we lived. I never forget our picnic in Morib Beach, at the riverside along the coastal road to Penang, the trip to Penang Bukit Bendera (Penang Hill), journey to Singapore, playing ice-skating at Asia Jaya and Ampang Park, to Chowkit for dinner, ice-cream treat at the revolving restaurant on top of The Capital Hotel, riding cable car at Bukit Nenas (then), to the museum, to the zoo, to Melaka and many more places. Too bad we lost all the photographs to fire that vanished everything in our village house, but I remember every moment.

It wasn't the outing that registered in my mind, but the moment being with family which I missed and the time sacrificed by my parents to entertain us that I valued, no matter how busy there were. Thats what I've been grumbling to my husband.

Our Kids are growing. Soon they will no longer be around us. In a matter of months, Nadia might be in University and Adri might be living in a dorm. And in a matter of years, we both might be too old and tired for outing. The hell with 'we cannot afford the time'. Time will never turn back.

This coming weekend I've planned to take my kids for vacation. With or without the father, thats what I told him. We are going. I don't care where, but we are going. Who is in the 'WE'? Oh.. I'm sure he had enough of my grumbling.

'Cemburu'

The topic of discussion by Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah I was listening to while writing this blog is about 'Cemburu', a Malay word of jealousy.

A few identifier of a possible jealousy person that he mentioned matched what I have.

Thick eye brows (almost joined left and right eye brow),
round facial shape,
sweaty face especialy on the nose,
couldn't stand when being tickled (e.g on the hip area) are among others.

Opss...!

He said, jealousy could cause all kind of deceases in a long run, as it cause our body weak and unhealthy due to depression.
Opss..again. Im not sure how true these are.

hmmmm.... I think I should get my eye brows plucked to thinner and do a face lifting. Next, how to avoid from this unhealthy feeling? Be extra nice, be extra good to your partner, show extra love,he said. InsyAllah...

Passport Application During Schoold holiday

Wooaaaahhh...!!!! I've never come across such a stressful day. From 8am to 5pm staying in line to apply for passport at the immigration, Subang Branch. And yet, I have to come back on the next day.

A day after Chinese New Year holiday, when I thought many people are still resting at home, was the day I chose to the branch to apply for passport for my children, not knowing that another 500 people are having the same thinking. There we were, having 320 people ahead of our number, although we arrived on time when the door was newly opened.

3 hours were spent to lineup for photo snap, and another 5 hours spent to wait for our number to be called for application processing, then another hour to do the payment . All took place under the compact building with low ceiling and not airconditioned. And yet, we were required to come back on the next morning to collect the passport.

If you ever need to do so for your under 18yrs old child, make sure to have the following in place:

1. Photocopy and original copy of father's or mother's IC

2. same for child's IC and the birth certificate of the child is under 18yrs

3. Make sure you get the right form (stay in line to collect form before getting the line number).

4. Fill in the form, complete with 2 passport size photograph. There is a kiosk provided if you didn't have a chance to go to the photo shop.

5. Money. RM300 for 32 pages(5 years)

6. Lots of patients

However, if you are only renewing your passport, you may go straight to the self-service machine, Make sure to include your photocopy of IC and 2 passport size photographs.

Its not fun going through the immigration procedure. "Selawat banyak-banyak."

Make my day...

I went to bed earlier than my normal time (1am). I spent more time during my night prayer, asking for many-many things for God to grant, hoping to get up with fresh mind. I woke up a bit later than my normal time, with body ache, laziness and absentmindedness. I kept on going up and down the staircase, forgetting and remembering things. I perspired like crazy early morning. At last I was ready to drive out. I started the car and set to reverse gear. Again, I had to get out of the car, as I left my computer in the house. At 2nd last, I drove out thinking that everything was in place, in order. About 300m driving out of the compound, I remembered something that caused me to make a U-turn, back to the house.Oh God! What is this I am having? Is this part of menopausal process? What a day to start. Lets see how the weekend would be like. Happy Chinese New Year !!

What A Wedding..!!

Out of a sudden I felt responsible to blow a piece of my mind.

He is my 27 years old nephew, a 2nd son of my eldest sister, had a business plan for himself and couldn't wait to have a wife helping him with his small business. Both living in a separate state, he determined to marry her. BUT, he could not afford to close his business for more than 5 days.

1 day gone for his trip to hometown. 4 days left for wedding plan. What could be done? The 'Nikah' (Muslim's marriage registration) only took a few hours. Then comes invitation, building 'Pelamin' (special decorated stage for Malay wedding), doing grocery, cooking and all? Within 3days before the ceremony..!!??

Yes, he did it. He caused the whole family to dash for preparation and slapped me with a sudden cost on the airfare just for the 1 night stay in Lahad Datu, which half a day gone just for the journey of 2 X flights to reach the hometown of mine.

No doubts, I hated the adrenaline rush, somehow, deep inside was happiness, knowing that this would be the 1st grandson's wedding for my parents and the 1st nephew's wedding for me. As a new mom-inlaw, my eldest sister was smiling throughout the day. For some reason, I was carrying abit of anger with me. Why not? He married a 17 years old girl.! in a very short notice. OMG! she is as young as my daughter, who is currently waiting for her exam result.

I don't blame the girl's mom for refusing to accept the marriage. She is the only girl to the poor family of 5 siblings. High hope was put on her to complete her study and to take care of her young brothers.

As I reached the house, the ceremony has started. They were registered as husband and wife 3 days ago, which, I was told, was reluctantly represented only by the bride's father. I felt sad for her family.

The wedding ceremony continued. Surprisingly, despite the rush, many people attended, Perhaps to witness the dolly couple.

The ladies culturally sat on the floor (Malaysian Malay village style), while the seating area for the men were at the compound. It was merry.

I took a chance to talk to the newlywed, pointing to their improper plan. I told them that wedding is not just for the joy of the 2 of them. Its a family matter. I told them what I 'd wanted to say, being a mother to a 17 yrs old daughter, myself. Once or twice I started with "You young people...blah..blah..blah...." I wanted them to understand how the bride's mother felt then. I told them the impact of a marriage without getting a blessing from parents of both side. Both listened quietly. They both agreed to my offer to meet up with the bride's mom, who was then at home, refusing to attend the ceremony.

My younger sister (Nong) and I volunteered to visit the bride's house to visit the mother. The door was opened when we arrived. We entered the house in a Muslim way of greetings, 'Assalamualaikum' (Peace be upon you). The poor lady was then lying on the floor. Maybe crying or perhaps having nap of sadness. She sat up. I sat facing her in a position of "On-your-mark...Get-set...." but she didn't chase us out though.

She didn't decline my handshake. Feeling safe, I re-positioned my sitting. She was ready to listen to what I was gonna say, while my sis and I were ready to accept her possible reaction.

Softly, with the best mannered approach, I started with setting her perception that I could feel what she was feeling, that I didn't blame her for feeling that way. Me too, having a daughter of the same age. She cried. I almost cry too. I told her that we had accepted her daughter as part of our family, and that we had advised the bridegroom and made him promise to take care of her daughter well and be responsible to take care of his wife's family too.

Next, pretended she didn't know, I informed her that we were throwing a wedding ceremony for the couple on that day, as we wanted her daughter to feel welcomed to the family. I told her, we want her family to be there too, to share the joy and to tie a notch between both families. I said many more positive and persuasive talks to her. I said them with all my heart, sincerely.

Lastly, I told her that, a real joyous in a wedding could on be reached when the couple gets a blessing from their parents. I held her hand and said, "your daughter needs a blessing from you". Her tears kept on rolling. She nodded and nodded and nodded to my every word, leaving me wondering whether or not she was agreeing or was she refusing. "Come and join us", I looked straight to her teary eyes. She paused. I paused.

Then, softly she said that she will come later when her husband comes back from work. WHAT A RELIEF..!! (phew..!). We departed with smiles

At home, everyone waited with suspense.

NO!, we didn't get beaten up.

The nite came. Invited guests came and go. Still no signs of the bride's family. I thought of making another visit to the house. Later I learned that they were on their way. Thank God.

Although accompanied with tears, I could tell that the couple got their blessing at last. May the young couple live happily ever after.

I flew back to Kuala Lumpur on the very next day, which journey took me another half a day, including flight delays.

There goes my weekend....

You, young people.......!!!

Nadia's first job

While waiting for her result, Nadia, my beloved daughter, decided to look for a job, joining her friends. I rejected one that offered to her, although I shouldn't have. Then she found another job at Kenny Roger's restaurant getting salary equivalent to our maid's. Ha..ha..ha.. But that's ok, I guess. All she needs is the experience. She would value money better, this way. She got to wear a uniform, which cost me half of her pay (the burden goes to the mother). We stopped by the restaurant on Tuesday, her first day of work. My little girl. I saw her serving food to the customers and taking orders. It was a mix-feeling for me. Sad to see her on the job and the same time happy for her getting the experience climbing up the ladder of adulthood. I never had that experience myself. I'm proud of her. At home, I advised her to stay calm even if she get a scolding form her customer. Smile and say sorry, then compensate with better service. That's life my girl....Customer is always right. Yeeeaah...right.

Joke of the day

Its important to pause for a while, no matter how busy we are. I normally would keep all the jokes in a special file and would open anyone of them anytime when I decided to take a pause and needed a laughter.

These are few selected ones (received thru sisters and friends):
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes or No

(A wife hit her husband with a frying pan. )
Husband:What was that for?
Wife:I found a piece of paper with the name 'Jenny' on it in your pants pocket.
Husband: I was at the races last week. Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.
 (3days later the wife bashed him harder with a bigger frying pan)
Husband: What was that for?
Wife: Your horse phoned..!!!

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America
Maria: Here it is Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: MARIA..!!!

DJ: What is the household name of Sodium Chloride. Clue: 'something you put on your husbands eggs every morning?
Caller: Talcum powder!

Laughter is the best medicine. Yes, I believe in it.

Its been a while

I've been dumped and drowned with a very long Things-To-Do list. Perhaps thats another mean of welcoming the year 2010. That was just the beginning. Now I am in a midst of completing a tender bid for a well-know site in Pakistan. Pakistan? Again? hmm..... Am I suppose to wish for winning the bid ? I've been to the country twice. I lost my air ticket on my 2nd trip, that caused me a hell of trouble. On the same trip, the country was just strucked by an earthquake and I almost couldnt find a place to sleep, as all the hotels and motels were fully booked by volunteeries from all over the world, that I ended at a guest house, with a hole on the window of my toilet, which peepable directly from the next door's window. Whattteverrrrr.... I dont mind making another trip there. I like being busy. Busy means good business. BUT NOT THIS BUSY...!!!I havent got a chance to even re-charge my camera and got no picture to share at this time. Sigh.... I NEED A VACATION.. !!!!!