Philantropist-wannabe: A Friend’s Ramadhan farewell

I lost a friend 8 days ago.

Rosley Idris, was known to others as a Malay Drama artist, but to me, he was a dear friend. We were in the same class during high school, Sabah College.

As students and friends, we argued, we laughed, we joked. I could not believe it was 31 years ago.

Through Facebook, we got hold of each other again about 3 years ago. We met a few times. We had a good laughs, recalling our good old days and comparing how old we have turned.

This was taken in 2011. Rosley (white cap) was looking good for his age then. One easily could recognize him through his sweet smile.

We, the ex-students of Sabah College are blessed with so many caring friends. We will meet up as much as we could afford the time.

This were taken on the 24 December 2012. Look how healthy he was.

Who could expect that he would be gone within not even a year.

On the 27th June 2013, I gave him a call. I was hoping for him to join me to welcome Norman, another friend of ours, who happened to be in town. Rosley could not make it then. He told me that he was just discharged from the hospital. There was a growth in his stomach.

“Dont worry, with God’s willing, its just a normal growth” I tried to console him.

2 weeks later he called me to inform the unpleasant news, that the growth was diagnosed as cancerous and was at stage-4. He was then admitted into another hospital.

My hubby and I visited him at the hospital on the 13th Jul 2013. He was still very much awake then, but with limited energy. I heard no laughter from him, unlike his usual self. I miss his laugh.It was a loud ‘HA.HA.HA.HA.HA….’ of his. I tried to crack a joke, but my dear friend could no longer laugh that day..not even a giggle.

His loving mom, his caring wife, his beloved sister( Linda) and his growing up son were among those who I met. He introduced me to all of them. My hubby and I felt so welcomed to this family.

2 days later,on the 15th Jul 2013 I visited him at his sister’s house. Linda’s house is about 30 minutes drive from where I live. Upon reaching the house, the first thing I noticed was, his worsen condition He was lying there in pain. His facial expression tells his agony. He was totally depending on Morphine.

His wife was next to him most of the time, while his 4 years old son, was too young to understand what was going on. He too, was fighting for attention from his mom.

We talked for a while. I did the talking most of the time. We recalled our school time when we were so active performing on the stage. We sang P.Ramlee song. That night he sang the lyrics “Bila larut malam…” His voice was so soft and helpless. I laughed and said to him “You better dont sing, save your energy”. He smiled to my joke. That was the last smile from him.

Rosley was supposedly undergone a chemotherapy session on the following day, somehow was postponed due to his weak condition.

On the next day, I told Linda that I wanted to talk to him.

“He has no energy to talk, sis” Linda stated via sms. Her message saddened me.

“ Please whisper my regards to him” I replied her short message.

19th June 2013 (4 days later) Linda sent me short message saying that Rosley was bleeding and she had the ambulance called for him to be brought back to the hospital. She also stated that Rosley had a message for us, all his friends, that she will post it in our Face book group. Poor Linda, she could not hold her tears as she typed the last message of her beloved brother.

A few hour later the last message from our dear friend, Rosley appeared on our FB group….

“…"Salam untuk Sahabatku semua.. Segala simpati, segala ikhtiar, segala usaha dan segala doa dari kamu semua akan kupahatkan sebagai azimat di setiap naluriku.. Segala kata-kata kamu semua melahirkan sesuatu kekuatan yang istimewa dalam diriku sebagaimana ikatan persahabatan kita semua yang lebih kurang 31-tahun lamanya.. Aku juga selalu berdoa semoga Allah s.w.t. sentiasa memberkati dan mengurniakan kepada kita semua usia yang panjang, Iman yang teguh, kemurahan rezeki, keampunan segala dosa dan kesihatan kepada kita semua.. Lihatlah dan renunglah jauh ke dalam diriku sebagai Iktibar demi kecemerlangan hidup yang berterusan sehingga denyutan nadi terakhir demi diri kita dan keturunan kita seterusnya.. InsyaAllah jumpa lagi.. Assalamualaikum w.b.."

21st Jul 2013 (2 days later), again I was feeling uneasy, that I determined to come and visit him at the hospital. Her wife was so attentive to his needs.

“Do you know who I am?” I whispered to him.He was half conscious then. He forced opened his eyes. I noticed his yellowish eyeballs. He looked up to me and murmured my name. I smiled at him, but he could no longer have the energy to even lift a smile on his face.

“You’ll be ok..you must be strong…always think of Allah…you are getting better now…etc..etc…” I kept on saying promising words to him. I just wanted him to feel good before I say goodbye. Half an hour later, I left with a heavy heart. Saying goodbye to him in that condition was the hardest part. I cried as I turned my face away towards the door.

Then……On the 24 jul 2013 (3 days later), when the ‘Muazzin’ called for ‘Maghrib’ prayer………. when others were enjoying their Ramadhan buffet……………. when I was saying ‘ameen’ to the prayer recited by my son during our fast-breaking…..my dear friend Rosley Idris accepted the call from The Almighty Creator.

When my phone rang, and as I saw the word ‘Rosley’s sister’ displayed on my phone’s screen, I knew something was wrong. Before answering, I’ve set my mind for the worst. True enough..

“sis, my brother has left us” Linda was crying uncontrollably. I was speechless. I was still stunned when our conversation over.

After breaking fast, my hubby and I rushed to the house. His body arrived around 10pm. I tempted to snap a photo for our close friends to see, but I didnt. I let my last sight of him captured in my memory. I recited ‘Yasin’ while sitting close to his breathless body. That was all I could contribute that night. His expression looked so peaceful.

… we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return…

Together with friends, I visited his family on the 3rd day of Rosley’s passing. He was so blessed to have a very close family ties.