Once, she dominated my life

One morning, she woke me up very early. She said she would teach me how to catch  live crab. I was only 17 years old then. We both attended the same Sabah College and both addressed each other as foster sister. She used to bring me home to her parents’ during the school holiday when the boarding school was not allowing stay-in student.

As for her, my family accepted her as much as how she wanted to be accepted. A few times, she spent Eid with us in Lahad Datu.

That morning, she took me to a place called Sembulan, not too far from Kota Kinabalu town area. The water was still clean and crystal clear, that I could see a crab burying part of its body under the mud. She then stepped on it and knelt down to pick it up, holding it on a specific position to avoid the claw. She showed me the technique several times, but I still could not get myself accustomed to the act of stepping on any creature. So, I didn't pick up the skill and Never did.

For a period of time, we both spent every weekend at Tanjung Aru Beach, selling drinks at the hawker stall, licensed to her mom then. We enjoyed the money earned and satisfied ourselves with our favourite food.

Then, another period of time, she would pick me up from school to be her van conductor. She herself drove the passengers van. Again, every earnings were spent on food and enjoyment. Once, we took a trip to Labuan to shop on electronic good, a few times we walked in to a disco/night club to enjoy the music and dance, although she knew, as a student I wasn't suppose to be in such a place, then we would hung around with ladies of hockey players and ladies of football players whenever there was tournament going on. She was a hockey player for the state, while I was a player for my school.

I was still in school, but had learned a lot about life from her. I never let my parents know about all those activities that I went through with her though. Student was suppose to stay in school and study, remember? Somehow, I had managed to keep my study level at par. Thank God, I passed every exam.
Other than real life, she also taught me about self respect. I owe her on this.

With her arrangement, we attended the same university, Indiana State University, Terre Haute, Indiana, USA. I started to feel like an adult and wanted to be treated as an adult, while she was still acting like a big sister towards me. I started to feel uneasy being ordered and told. Do this , dont do that, dont befriend this person, befriend that person, take this course, dont take that course. Ok..Ok..thats enough. I decided to break away from her, upon my graduation.

I really did. After graduation, we went separately ways. We lost contact for more than 15 years. I never even want to think about all the things that we did together.

Then one day in 2004, she gave me a call. She wanted to meet up. We did so,in KL. We were like two strangers, not knowing what to say and what to ask. Then, gradually, our meeting were getting often. She told me then that she had reached her target to become a millionaire lady. I said I was happy for her. However, to avoid closeness, I kept putting a gap to our relationship. I didn't want to know too much about her, so I kept our meetings short.

I only accepted her offer to spend a night at her mansion, twice. In my every visit to Kota Kinabalu, while on the job, I preferred to stay in the hotel instead, as I need my privacy. She understood and respected my view. At dinner, we would meet up for a seafood, or for a karaoke session at her house, which has a karaoke room with full set of karaoke system. She would pick me up from the airport or would get her driver to fetch me. She would take me out for dinner and enjoyed music. She knew how I love music. She had always treated me as special, regardless who were around us. But for me, I still kept the gap not too close. I had enough of being a little sister to her.

I was among the first to know when she received her Datukship. She proudly called me one day and said “Hello, this is Datuk Hamidah”. And on her every new purchase of big bike (she was a big bike lover) or every new property she bought, I would be among the first to know too. I could tell that she still trusted me as she used to. I treasured it.

Deep in my mind though, I wondered why she decided to contact me after those years and why she still treated me so special. But it didnt really bother me  and of course I do appreciated her too.

On my recent visit to Kota Kinabalu, she took me out again. It was in April. We spent time with her children at Shusi King Restaurant and at karaoke. When she answered a call from her doctor, I overheard the conversation, which made my heart pounded harder than usual. I asked if she was keeping a secret about her health problem from me. She said no, and said nothing wrong with her. I kept silent, waited for her to say more. She didnt. I respected her decision.

Not too long after that, she called  telling that she just came back from her Umrah. She called to tell me that she prayed for me during her visit to the holy land. She prayed that I would reach the holy land soon. I thank her for that.

2 days before my departure to my ‘umrah’ I gave her a call, but she did not answer. I wanted to tell her that God answered her ‘Du’a’ and I would be leaving to the holy land.

On the 3rd August, 2010, while I was preparing to leave for the airport to go on my Umrah (visit to holy land, Mecca), I received a call from another friend, who informed that my dear friend ‘Vicky’, who I addressed ‘Kak Vic’, and who was proudly wanted to be called Datuk Hamidah, passed away of cancer. Its was devastating news for me. I could not attend her funeral as I was catching a flight.

Later I learned that she could not answer that call of mine, because she was already admitted into the ICU when I called. That was my last call to her mobile phone.

I came back from my Umrah on the 16th Aug 2010, and still having her in mind. Good bye sis.

Al-Fatihah