What A Wedding..!!

Out of a sudden I felt responsible to blow a piece of my mind.

He is my 27 years old nephew, a 2nd son of my eldest sister, had a business plan for himself and couldn't wait to have a wife helping him with his small business. Both living in a separate state, he determined to marry her. BUT, he could not afford to close his business for more than 5 days.

1 day gone for his trip to hometown. 4 days left for wedding plan. What could be done? The 'Nikah' (Muslim's marriage registration) only took a few hours. Then comes invitation, building 'Pelamin' (special decorated stage for Malay wedding), doing grocery, cooking and all? Within 3days before the ceremony..!!??

Yes, he did it. He caused the whole family to dash for preparation and slapped me with a sudden cost on the airfare just for the 1 night stay in Lahad Datu, which half a day gone just for the journey of 2 X flights to reach the hometown of mine.

No doubts, I hated the adrenaline rush, somehow, deep inside was happiness, knowing that this would be the 1st grandson's wedding for my parents and the 1st nephew's wedding for me. As a new mom-inlaw, my eldest sister was smiling throughout the day. For some reason, I was carrying abit of anger with me. Why not? He married a 17 years old girl.! in a very short notice. OMG! she is as young as my daughter, who is currently waiting for her exam result.

I don't blame the girl's mom for refusing to accept the marriage. She is the only girl to the poor family of 5 siblings. High hope was put on her to complete her study and to take care of her young brothers.

As I reached the house, the ceremony has started. They were registered as husband and wife 3 days ago, which, I was told, was reluctantly represented only by the bride's father. I felt sad for her family.

The wedding ceremony continued. Surprisingly, despite the rush, many people attended, Perhaps to witness the dolly couple.

The ladies culturally sat on the floor (Malaysian Malay village style), while the seating area for the men were at the compound. It was merry.

I took a chance to talk to the newlywed, pointing to their improper plan. I told them that wedding is not just for the joy of the 2 of them. Its a family matter. I told them what I 'd wanted to say, being a mother to a 17 yrs old daughter, myself. Once or twice I started with "You young people...blah..blah..blah...." I wanted them to understand how the bride's mother felt then. I told them the impact of a marriage without getting a blessing from parents of both side. Both listened quietly. They both agreed to my offer to meet up with the bride's mom, who was then at home, refusing to attend the ceremony.

My younger sister (Nong) and I volunteered to visit the bride's house to visit the mother. The door was opened when we arrived. We entered the house in a Muslim way of greetings, 'Assalamualaikum' (Peace be upon you). The poor lady was then lying on the floor. Maybe crying or perhaps having nap of sadness. She sat up. I sat facing her in a position of "On-your-mark...Get-set...." but she didn't chase us out though.

She didn't decline my handshake. Feeling safe, I re-positioned my sitting. She was ready to listen to what I was gonna say, while my sis and I were ready to accept her possible reaction.

Softly, with the best mannered approach, I started with setting her perception that I could feel what she was feeling, that I didn't blame her for feeling that way. Me too, having a daughter of the same age. She cried. I almost cry too. I told her that we had accepted her daughter as part of our family, and that we had advised the bridegroom and made him promise to take care of her daughter well and be responsible to take care of his wife's family too.

Next, pretended she didn't know, I informed her that we were throwing a wedding ceremony for the couple on that day, as we wanted her daughter to feel welcomed to the family. I told her, we want her family to be there too, to share the joy and to tie a notch between both families. I said many more positive and persuasive talks to her. I said them with all my heart, sincerely.

Lastly, I told her that, a real joyous in a wedding could on be reached when the couple gets a blessing from their parents. I held her hand and said, "your daughter needs a blessing from you". Her tears kept on rolling. She nodded and nodded and nodded to my every word, leaving me wondering whether or not she was agreeing or was she refusing. "Come and join us", I looked straight to her teary eyes. She paused. I paused.

Then, softly she said that she will come later when her husband comes back from work. WHAT A RELIEF..!! (phew..!). We departed with smiles

At home, everyone waited with suspense.

NO!, we didn't get beaten up.

The nite came. Invited guests came and go. Still no signs of the bride's family. I thought of making another visit to the house. Later I learned that they were on their way. Thank God.

Although accompanied with tears, I could tell that the couple got their blessing at last. May the young couple live happily ever after.

I flew back to Kuala Lumpur on the very next day, which journey took me another half a day, including flight delays.

There goes my weekend....

You, young people.......!!!