What a relief!
Why did I said that?
Im not sure, but that what Im feeling right now. I feel healthier. I could maintain my jolly intonation around my colleagues. I could walk and go up the staircase without panting heavily. I could think clearly. I could laughed with and could easily smile to anyone.
For the past few weeks, I’ve enrolled myself in a fitness center. I felt much lighter just by thinking of it, although the weighing machine is not so co-operative.
I’ve learned as much as I could as a preparation of my coming visit to the holy land, Mecca. I’ve forgave everyone I know. I also forgave myself.
I’ve set my mind to be closer to God.
I’ve prayed to God for my kids to get a flying colors in their exam and to lead a better life.
I’ve set my mind to go. Even if for some reason I could not come back, at least I will not feel being burdened by obligations.
But there is something that I am not ready though. I'm not ready for a proper Muslim costume. I still want to keep my ‘free-hair’. I need to feel the air blowing to my scalp. I will pray to the Almighty to give me His 'Hidayah'(‘the calling’) though. Hopefully I will come back in a proper attire. But if I don't, I hope He will at least keep me away from any other sins, not adding to what I am already having and keep me away from being judged in a negative manner through my dressing. Amen…
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
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2 comments:
to SOME people the 'costume' and HOW you wear it depicts who you are and it is SAD that sincerity is not even valued!
littlesisD
My dear littlesisD,
What you said is very true.
Anyway, I always believe most people, especially those dear to me, value sincerity and thats including you, sis.Thank you for accepting me as who and what I am.
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